There are 91 million votes in Bataan (and Westlake and Leesburg pop. 2965)

91 million votes! Boy, that's a lot. To get to the final, contestants needed a third of them.

Watching Joshua perform It's A Man's World as he left the competition, you just have to say that there goes someone who may well rank as one of the best finds by the Series in all its 11 years. I would love to have seen him in the final with Jessica which I believe could have been quite something and, like the X Factor final, of a quality that ought to silence some of those who just think this is just another cheesy reality TV show with a big budget.

By chance one of the other hugely talented finds of the Series was also performing as a guest tonight. Adam Lambert is quite extraordinarily brilliant and, at times, he could almost have been giving Joshua lessons in how to run round notes and elicit lyrics without losing them. If only someone could write Adam some decent tracks. Looking forward to seeing how he fills Freddie Mercury's space on the stage with Queen for the British Jubilee celebration performances.

One surprise tonight was Lisa Marie Presley. She sang You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet which might well have been written by David Lynch. It had that dark, moody feel, emphasised by some very cool guitar work, that I could imagine accompanying a Lynch film. Quite out of place here but interesting for all that.

Another surprise was Ryan bringing our attention to a clip of Phillip's dad packing heat in clear view on the homecoming video. I am just trying to imagine how that would go down on a British show. It is all very strange. Steven gets told off big time for some references about a couple of 16 year olds but we Brits aren't allowed to see Coca Cola and get red blob instead of cups on the judges' bench!

Joshua leaving wasn't a surprise. He didn't deserve to go but it wasn't a surprise with 91 million votes split between them. My bet is that it was Phillip that got the surprise - as he probably has every week since he started! Jessica had better take every bit of Jimmy's advice between now and next week, though. That's all I can say as we approach the end of another American Idol series.

Queen Rules In America

The Queen certainly rule in America this week at least. With a carefully selected band of singers and guitarists doing a good job of Somebody To Love that track went down well enough, despite the audience not seeming particularly vocal in the join-in section!) but the real buzz happened when Brian and Roger appeared and set the place on fire once again.

Ryan brings Jessica and Elise out and, as you could have guessed, Elise is in the bottom three once more. No surprises there really and my feeling is that it really is the last time she'll be appearing in the bottom three - but not for the reason she'd prefer.

Stefano reappears next. Following Queen, even part of Queen, was never going to be easy. No shiny suit either. A good track that Olly Murs could have a hit with. He seems to have two voices - one that stands out, the higher, sharper one that cuts through the backing track and a pretty much unnoticeable one that let him down. Still, nice to see him again.

Hollie and Joshua. Now we all know the judges would just instantly send Hollie to the bottom three anyway and they must have had some effect on the voters. Joshua's second track was pretty good and the switch between the dance track he did before broadened his appeal. For all that, I wouldn't want to call between these two as I do think Hollie is building her fans, albeit a bit late. Hollie is the one that joins Elise.

Katy Perry comes on in aggressive mood looking like a 90s Ukraine entry in the Eurovision Song Contest. The song has to be a Russell Brand put down. For most of it she's lost in dry ice anyway, her record playing in the background. Another hit, no doubt, but she might at least have tried a bit harder to appear to be singing it. For some reason she was surrounded by alternative versions of herself, all with black knee pads and at the end the ice turned green and I expected some military band to come on as some guy was barking orders in the background. Odd.

OK, back and it's between Skylar and Phillip. Surely no argument here - it has to be Skylar that is safe out of those two. Big surprise again this week! Skylar is the one in 4th place! I wasn't expecting that. Phillip sure must have all the girl's votes now and that must have saved him in not exactly a stunning week for him. As if to quell the storm that was brewing amongst the audience and judges, Ryan almost immediately says that Skylar is safe and that leaves Hollie and Elise.

Elise reaches the end of her road and goes out with her wonderful Led Zep number. I can see that as a single. If Robert Plant wasn't tied up with Alison Krauss he might even have joined her. So now we have the Final Five. Skylar coming 4th after such a good performance and showing consistent strength for a few weeks now really does mean that it is anyone's guess now.

The Show Must Go On (and so do the judges)

It's Queen week and there's Brian May, grey hair seemingly ablaze beneath the lights with Roger Taylor, looking rather big and out of place with the tiny idols remaining in the Top 6. They answer some silly questions and still look uncomfortable but that may have been because no-one understood their excellent accents.

The group song was a pretty predictable mix of extracts from some of their hits and it was so noticeable how Elise led the way almost entirely. It suited her too. Brian was smiling throughout, probably thinking about the large fee he'd be getting for not a great deal of hard work. With the bright white light behind him in some shots his huge mass of hair looked extraordinary. I do hope that's a style that doesn't take on.

They finished with We Are The Champions which really didn't work at all well. It was so dull, like a Sunday morning on a cold day in a small church in the country. At no point do I recall hearing either Jessica or Hollie who were together on one mike.

Jessica

Bohemian Rhapsody
Cameras go to black and white as they associate with the original visuals for this, even putting her face in a similar three-repeat in the background. Not many would dare take this song on! I think she made a good job of that with nice vocals on the gentler side which suited her so much better than when she tries to rock. The rock bit did work but she did look nervous and even seemed to be trying to remember what to do rather than being natural. She's starting to fade a bit and show some weakness.

Skylar

The Show Must Go On
Excellent performance. I can't fault that and she really is shaping up to win this. That put Jessica in the shade as she was on pitch and it was believable too. Well done. Not as difficult a track as Jessica's but still not easy. She is showing a lot of strength and composure whereas her competition looks vulnerable.

Joshua

Crazy Little Thing Called Love
I didn't like this at all and not sure he coped that well with this track. He just belted it out whereas it does need light and shade. Not good. Energetic, but not very marketable. So why the SO from the judges??! They're out of line on this, they really are. They must get a totally different sound down there from what we get through a couple of speakers. Jennifer says it all when she announces that he's her 'favourite'. Hmmm.

Elise

I Want It All
I like the way she's on it from the very start. Of everyone in the T6 she should be the one this week was made for but, apart from the chorus, this is not the best of songs to make an impression with. The verse is almost instantly forgettable and doesn't allow for anything special to happen either. She did a good, confident job but it wasn't as spectacular as you'd expect from Elise, singing Queen, in the Top Six stage. She got good reviews but obviously not their 'favourite' and she could be disappointed.

Phillip

Fat Bottomed Girls
He sounded great. It was a good choice for his voice. It's a song where you can mangle the words and it still works. He does look odd - a complete opposite to the stylish and slick Freddie Merucry person. Phillips does have personality, a smile and the voice that people seem to like. Just not my idea of an American Idol.

Hollie

Save Me
She gets the first pimp spot and needs to be good, having been almost unnoticed in the group song. This was a nice song. Not the usual anthem and not actually a track I remembered at all. She chose well - or Jimmy did. This is what she does well - a powerful, simple song that matches her range and didn't require her to dance around or do something she doesn't look right doing. Nice. It may not have set the world alight but that shouldn't have done her any harm and keep in in the running. just. Well, it would, had the so biased panel supported her a bit more. they're so critical of her and I really am beginning to think that they don't want her on the show any longer and can't wait for her to go. Everyone else is regarded as some sort of hero with comments like 'amazing' 'don't know what to say' blah blah blah. Hollie gets a long long rant from Jennifer. That's it.

For the second round they get to pick their own tracks.

Jessica

Dance With My Father Again
Finally, she gets her look right - nice dress and overall styling that suits her. This was a really good performance. A heartfely song that she delivers back on top form once more. It was an excellent time to do it too as she'd been looking quite vulnerable of late, never really matching her incredible Whitney moment of what is now a long time ago. She should now be safe after that and that's what I am sure she'll be doing on CDs later in the year, whatever happens in the competition.

Skylar

Tattoos On This Town
I think that's the title of of good ol' country number which she is totally at home with. This was a good performance, comfortable and assured. She's a professional and you feel that she's totally reliable. Not spectacular but a good night for her and she must be on her way now to the final.

Joshua

Running For love
No idea what this song is actually called but it could have been written for him. The judges are on their feet again. This time it may have been deserved. It was a nice track and he produced a very soulful, accurate and controlled sound with none of the annoying shouting. Nice job. If he does more like that then he'll be hard to stop, especially with Jennifer and Randy voting for him so obviously. This could be one of the few times that I have heard this guy do something really really well, though, and a great choice.

Elise

Bold as love
A Hendrix number, apparently. It's difficult to know what to make of this. She is certainly very, very good and absolutely in her element but where on earth this will fit with potential voters to keep her in the competition I'm not so sure. Randy does the rant this time, going on and on and losing her votes with each sigh. The fact is that she sang tremendously, as well as Joshua before her and interpreted a difficult track well. People just won't recognise it though.

Phillip

?? Bold As love
Another track I don't know. Boy, is this lot choosing some unique tracks this year. In a way, that's quite a stand out from previous Series and a good thing. Phillip has always been a bit whacky, odd, occasionally weird and downright ridiculous when forced to do the sing-a-long or set tracks. In the preview of what others think about each other the girls were amusingly honest about how odd his expressions can be when singing and in regard to his leg movements that make Olly Murs seem positively static! This time he went to an extreme but a nice extreme. This what what Phillip Phillips is meant to do and he managed to avoid the weird movements as well. It was an odd number that no-one will know and he was accompanied by a two beautiful girls, one on a fiddle or violin and another on a brass instrument. the violinist was superb and the camera seemed to stay on her almost the whole time! I didn't mind that and doubt whether Phillip would have been that bothered either. He's not someone you want to watch.

Now, will the judges give him the same treatment as they gave Elise? Steven was good, calling him 'Off the wall' accurately and, later, admiring him for being true to what he wants to do rather than digging for votes. Randy got it right too. He was doing what Phillip does. So why didn't they just say that to Elise? So unfair. And Jennifer says she is worried that he might not now make the final. Oh boy. So we all know who she doesn't want in the final, don't we.

Hollie

The Climb
She sure did make the most of the closing slot of the night with this! It's a very familiar song, having been used as the final song in X Factor too with Joe McElderry winning with it a while ago. It's one of those well-written numbers that are great for closing big shows with that lots of people who watch this type of show love. Hollie performed it marvellously, better than the original. And, good grief, the judges are standing up! Unbelievable. Maybe they were told to after Jennifer's rant and unfair comments. So, an excellent song choice and very well delivered. It's not my favourite at all but it could be just what she needs to survive. At times I really could see her with some star quality shining tonight and, whilst Skylar wins the night, Hollie came second. I just hope the voters agree.

This is a difficult week to call now. Hollie could have been the vulnerable one (again) but she may just have done enough to grow her fan base to be a challenger and is certainly looking like someone who could make a late run for the final.

Jessica seemed good at the time but, on second listening, she has quite a tinny sound and isn't actually singing as well now as she seemed to be at the start. I know the judges and even Jimmy go on about how brilliant she is but I do wonder what support she has and whether her efforts this week will have increased it significantly. I would say she is now more likely to go than Hollie.

Elise has always been struggling, last week being an exception. I don't think her supporters are that solid, not the people who will phone and phone again to keep her in. They'll respect her but not always vote for her. Her songs weren't great this week and she is the one I would have predicted would go on first consideration.

Phillip's strange second song makes me think twice, though. He must have a strong female backing and is the only white male left too so may survive for that reason alone. He's the one that I'm inclined to think could go, though, on second consideration.

Joshua may get huge props from the judges and Jennifer's own band of voting fans will keep his numbers up. He's an almost guaranteed finalist but shouldn't be. He ought to go but I don't think he will.

Looking back like this, therefore, surprisingly in some ways, it is Skylar and Hollie who managed to hit all the right buttons this week and they may well be the two that are quite safe, Skylar definitely so.

American Idol Voters Disagree with Randy About "The Best Singer In America"

The show starts with what I had really hoped they'd abandoned - the sing-a-long spot. Especially for a Pink track this was ridiculous and Jessica was right out of it. Not a good sign for the one we've started to think might win this thing. Elise, excellent yet again, might just as well have sung it alone with only Hollie, interestingly, providing anything strong by way of support. Odd.

Hollie & Jessica: surely it has to be Jessica that's the safe one out of these two? Or this is a night of surprises? One with a rather average performance. One with a little known track. One natural. One lacking some emotion.  Ryan doesn't tell us just yet. Damn.

James Durbin turned up and screamed quite a lot, looking better fed and healthier than in the old days and sporting a blonde hairstyle reminiscent of the Sex Pistols. I guess it was a track of his new album. It sort of came and went.

Plug for alumni sorted, Ryan brings out Phillip & Elise. Hmmm. One who hasn't been popular but performed well. One who seems to have been popular in the past but who didn't. Elise should stay out of the bottom three but that would still be a surprise as if she is in the 'staying group' that implies that she was in the top three. Phillip joining Hollie makes sense - they're both vulnerable tonight.

Another alumni spot with a record to promote - Jennifer Hudson, who many think should have won in Series whatever, with Ne-Yo who, even with chunky shoes was strangely towered over by what I'd always thought to be a pretty normal-height Jennifer in 8 inch stilettos. Men really will have to start wearing these or maybe Elton John 70s boots or women will be much more aware of the extent of their hair loss.

So Skylar, Joshua and Colton remain. They might have been the Top 3 in my reckoning of how the voters might decide (but not my preference). Colton and Joshua to be split. Hmmm again. Both ought to be safe so this will be interesting. Skylar will probably be sent direct to the safe seat. So... I suppose as neither Joshua nor Colton are going home it doesn't matter too much. Joshua goes to the group I expected to be safe. Very interesting.

I was right about Skylar. My guess is that it's the Hollie, Phillip and Colton group that's the bottom three. Wrong!! Now that is a big surprise. The bottom one is Jessica. Even before she starts Steven had said that they'll be using their save - for any of the three. She does start but sounds terrible. Then I thought it was her parents walking on stage but it was the three judges and Jennifer was clearly angry, demanding the microphone and making it clear that they would not even need to listen. Probably just as well as that performance was not going to win her any extra fans. Good to see a bit of chaos on the normally over-produced show. Randy announced that America should be voting for the best, referring to Jessica as 'the best singer in the whole of America'. He may regret that, however well-intended the remark.

Ryan did a great job coping with the comings and goings but shouldn't have asked Jessica to sing to close the programme. This is now getting very interesting. It is now anybody's race and my money's moving to Skylar. Well some of it. I hope Hollie will really make the most of what she must regard as a second second chance too!

American Idol: The Top 7 Pt 1

In all the previous series, and X Factor too, there has been at least a couple of clear also rans, contestants who really shouldn't still be there, often who shouldn't even have been included in the Top 24 in the first place. This year, I cannot say that there is any contestant who shouldn't be in this Top 7. Each, in their own way, has shown something that could make them American Idol Series 11 Winner. The clear leaders change a little each week, Jessica consistently being one, Colton and Joshua also being on the board most weeks. None of the others can be totally discounted, though, and any could make a late run - one starry performance lifting them to join the three mentioned.

So it is difficult to judge and you do have to bear in mind just how much support they may have already established and how vulnerable that may be if any week brings something less than they'd hoped for. This week we're taken to each of their home towns where you get the impression that the whole ruddy place will be voting en bloc for their boy or girl. They won't, but the bigger areas will have an influence and the biggest fan clubs that can be sure to get out their vote might make the significant difference at this stage between who comes 6th and who comes 7th.

Skylar
First off is this country rock girl who takes what I thought must be a big chance with a Kellie Pickler number, Don't You Know How Much I Love You. Now I hadn't heard this before and, however much I adore The Pickler, this was not a great big huge hit and, outside a particular genre of listeners, she's been more well known as that delightful personality from Series 6 (and I need to check that!). This was a brilliant choice, though, and a great, very commercial song which worked so well. I have a suspicion, too, that this could have sold far more than the original had it been released and then I might well have heard about it. Skylar had plenty of passion, is totally credible as a performer on stage and, as with everyone this week, the time to worry about bad notes or not knowing a song seems to have passed. A very good performance indeed and, in my view, this puts Skylar very much in that top group that I can imagine in the final.

Colton
He also comes out with a track I don't know and one I guess that not that many watching will know either. Love The Way You Lie is a powerful, emotional and very difficult to reproduce song. In many ways this was Colton in that zone with which he seems most comfortable. It's not a place that I can imagine hordes of fans following him into but he certainly does have a huge female fan club and this will also have earned him a good amount of respect amongst the men with cool taste. Not mainstream and there were places where I felt that the song got the better of him as it was that difficult to interpret and perform but all due respect to the guy for a non-commercial or typical Idol attempt.

Elise & Phillip
They did the Gotye Somebody that was recently Number 1 here in the UK and, I think, has just started doing the rounds there. the audience loved it. Elise was absolutely superb, making Phillip seem like a walk-on part for the act but, in a sense, the track is written that way and it's how the song works. A truly exceptional voice, look or stance would be necessary to match the female input which he got about 70% of but Elise was just brilliant. That will not have done her chances any harm at all. In fact, it may have made all the difference.

Jessica
This girl is quite exceptional. I would have expected her to play it safe for a couple of weeks with big popular and recognisable numbers that will be played over and again on YouTube and maintain her as the most downloaded of them all. Stuttering was almost completely unknown to most of the audience and wasn't even the one that I thought it was going to be. It was really well sung - a very tough song as Randy Jackson confirmed. She really did impress the judges who have been pretty demanding of her to date so must have done something right for them at last. Quiet what the audience made of it I'm not sure as their initial reaction was lukewarm but then you could almost sense the fans kicking in and the cries and applause duly came. She is the one who is the big find in this series and with her cute looks, amazing voice and control of someone way more mature, she simply has to make the final. Whether she'll get the votes she needs from this week's performance shouldn't be in doubt but I do harbour a small reservation that her base may not be as big as some others. I'm pretty sure she's one that would, in any event, be saved, however, although I can't imagine that being necessary.

Joshua
Runaway Baby is a Bruno Mars number, yet again not as well known as one might have expected someone to choose. It was great for him, though, fast and fun and giving him a comparatively easy ride through to lots of applause and credits. Bearing in mind that this boy is steeped in the church and seems to have spent his whole life in a choir and under the big thumb of a church family, the lyrics seemed way out of either his comprehension or, at least, what his bible friends would approve of! Perhaps the producers didn't really appreciate what they meant either. It shouldn't matter - Josh seems pretty well supported. Although quite why Ryan brought Joshua's odd-looking father onto the stage I have no idea. Is he going to call up everyone's dad?

Colton & Skylar
Don't You Want To Stay  is a better know country song and the performance was a credit to both of them. Skylar is having a great night, coming across really well in this duet, putting Colton pretty much in the shade and is increasingly developing a real star quality that could well attract a lot of very useful supporters and, crucially, country votes.

Hollie
The stylist have done a superb job this week and made this girl look lovely rather than a little ordinary as has been the case for a while. She took on the Pink track, Perfect which, for the first time in the solo performances so far, is something that everyone should recognise. Now Pink is quite an act to follow and Hollie did really well with just one thing missing. Emotion. She's good, very good, but you just don't quite get the feeling that she herself feels the words that she's sending us. The notes are strong - I don't agree with the judges that she was pitchy - she is a very reliable reproducer of songs but I want more than that. Because her competition is so very strong the comparisons with Skylar, Jessica and Elise may not be in her favour. They could be but she needs that special moment that hasn't happened yet. Jimmy - you need to work harder on her!! The judges seemed very harsh - again - and I do wonder why they don't support her more, their favouritism towards Joshua, for instance, being almost embarrassing.

Phillip
Got A Little More by Maron 5 is another uncommon one and this one did leave me wondering just what this chap is doing here. He has always 'performed' well and you can tell that he loves his music and strumming away on that guitar but the tracks he chooses can only appeal to quite a small section of the record-buying public. Whereas Colton gets the cool vote, Phillip gets the off-beat, maybe some jazz and a collection of other minor passion votes. This did nothing for me at all. 'Underwhelming' was Jennifer's very apt description and, unusually, all three judges were less than enthralled with this. Having said that, he does seem to have accumulated a big fan club amongst the girls and they do tend to vote. The weakest act tonight but I don't see him going somehow for all that. Illogical? Maybe. But this is American Idol. (And Chris, the one-trick-pony, was a runner-up on X Factor USA.)

Joshua, Hollie & Jessica
This was a super performance of Stronger by Kelly Clarkson, American Idol's Series 1 Winner. Joshua was in the middle and did a good solid job, nice tone and rhythm. Hollie matched this well and blended in exactly as she should, strong voice, excellent notes and enjoyable to watch. On their own they'd have been great. Jessica seems to be doing a solo part and, interestingly, using this as an opportunity to show just who's best, not just competing with Hollie but probably with Joshua too! She was absolutely brilliant! Maybe a little too much pushing herself into our attention span but you have to admire her. She was the star, despite the other two being great. Every note was just a little clearer, louder and she moved a lot more and really did give it her all. This was, for the first time, Jessica determined to show us that she is the one. Not Hollie, and not even Joshua. If there is going to be a Hollie V Jessica battle then this was her indication that she'll win. Probably sooner rather than later.

Elise
She certainly knows what tracks to pick. So far her choices have been inspired. It could be simply because she has a good 10 years more experience than the younger girls. They may seem to be more 'today' but Elise has the market for the older voters. She just needs more of them as previous votes haven't been going her way as often as they might have been expected to on the quality of her brilliant performances week after week. Her choice this week was Lady Gaga's You And I. She not only had the artist herself to compete with in people's minds, that number being fresh in most minds still, but she was also treading on the much revered Haley Reinhart part of the stage where that same number was wonderfully performed last year.

I can't deny the passion that Elise puts into her performances and the notes, voice, style, looks and everything were great. But it didn't grab me as Haley's had done. There was something missing. I can't think what it could be but I felt a bit disappointed. I might have expected too much. Again, like so many of the others, she is good, very good but there is a big question over her voting popularity and, for some reason I can't explain, I don't see her as an American Idol or even a finalist. She deserves to be on all her consistently remarkable performances so far but I'm still not sure I know who Elise is. I hope I'm wrong, though, as I'm sure she'll put her heart and soul into whatever she's asked to do and would be more interesting to watch than Phillip, Hollie if she doesn't let go of some self control and even Joshua who I would think could be a little boring for more than 3 minutes.

So, quite a night! Skylar, I predict, will easily top the poll and be 100% safe. Joshua will sleep soundly too, as will Jessica and Colton with sufficient fans now to battle any likely nightmares. Hollie, Phillip and Elise are the ones who will be worrying. Hollie will worry the most, after a second week of unhelpful judges' remarks. Elise will wonder what she can do to appeal to voters and may conclude that she can do nothing more. Phillip is probably amazed to be there anyway and my guess is that he isn't that bothered any more. His fan base ought to be enough to protect him so it'll be between Hollie and Elise. If it were a normal competition I'd expect to say farewell to Hollie but, as she could still turn it around and even win, it may be Elise this time. My own preference would be to see Phillip go but I wouldn't risk any money on that bet!

American Idol Top 8 Review Pt 2

I fear this could be the one where Hollie goes out. But that is just a feeling I started watching this week's results show with. Let's see...

It all gets under way with an ad for Jennifer's new single - the video being a sort of feint attempt at emulating a bit of Gaga crossed with Madonna. Almost instantly, forgettable, unlike Gaga and Madonna.

The Wanted followed. The audience wanted 1D but this was another UK group so that's almost the same for many of them. They sang I'm Glad You Came which could have been a Eurovision entry had some older guy not nabbed the job already.

Jessica and a worryingly ill Joshua get sent to safety quickly, as they rightly should be. Then Skylar and Colton are brought up. Now they should also both be safe but, if that were the case it would imply that only one of the remaining four would be safe! Fortunately, to avoid giving the game away just like that, Ryan brings out Deandre and Hollie.

Jimmy Iovine gives his views, always spot-on and thankfully someone to counter the crazy views of the judges when necessary. He says that DeAndre mat well be fighting with Hollie as to who'll be packing tonight and that's been my opinion too. He's certainly on the right tracks as, eventually, it is indeed Holllie and Deandre that are the first two at risk.

That leaves Elise and Phillip. They'll probably be joined by Elise yet again, although it ought to be Phillip but, again, it's Phillip who has been getting all the praise and, apart from last week's amazing performance, Elise gets universal disinterest from the judges for no reason I can discern. Something must have gone down at some point that we don't know about.

Before we learn which we get to meet the cute and wonderful Kellie Pickler. She shows us that coming 6th (Season 5) needn't be so bad. I love her personality and you couldn't help but smile when she appeared. We're not too bothered about what she actually sings.

Yes, it is, inded, Elise again who joins the bottom three. So which of DeAndre or Hollie did the voters place bottom? My prediction is proven quite wrong as Hollie is declared safe! That was quite a surprise - I really had expected her to be up against DeAndre. And between Elise and DeAndre it is Elise who survives. Great. Glad she's safe as I really do believe both she and Hollie have a lot more to offer. If they don't perform well next week though then they may as well both go home as they're unlikely to get much support from the judges while Phillip and Joshua are around.

DeAndre then gives a pretty reasonable performance with his reggae number that does suit him and, without the falsetto nonsense, I wondered whether he might not have earned himself a save. Throughout the series Jennifer and Randy have been making him out to be amazing and a whole load of other superlatives so this might be the time when they decide to act. It appears that Jennifer voted for him to stay but Steven and Randy did not so his demise was not to be dragged into next week.

All in all a good result in my view. From here on it could be fascinating as I don't see Phillip actually doing much different, Elise and Hollie have an opportunity to do something remarkable (again, in Elise's case and, hopefully, for the first time in Hollie's). If Skylar picks a poor song and Joshua gets annoying then they may be vulnerable with Phillip. Only Jessica and Colton seem relatively untouchable just at this point.

American Idol Top 9 Review: The One With Stevie Nicks

With the introductory tune Changes playing, I had expected a series of photos of how Tommy Hafliger had rebranded everyone but was pleasantly surprised to see one of my own idols, Stevie Nicks, sitting with Jimmy Iovine and providing mentoring this week. That sort of boosts one's hopes for performances this week too.

Colton
This was a nice production of a Lighthouse number, You're Everything , which may not be one that many know. Moody, a slow start, this suited the Colton style exactly, right through to the end where he was on his knees in some sort of plea. His voice and general demeanour suit this type of track. I'm not sure he looks right laughing or running around. This should appeal to his fans in a big, big way. He is definitely a contender now for the prize and a good start to the show. The only thing that bothered me slightly was his reference to it being a 'worship song' which it may be but I'm not so sure it needed to be emphasised. There's something not quite right in my mind when contestants make a big thing of their particular faith on stage and there's been a lot of that in this Series. If they're good, they're good and I don't really want to know what part God may or may not have played in their backing band.

Skylar
I'm not too sure what the title of this crazy track was but it might have been Crazy Yet and was originally sung by Miranda Lambert, we're informed, who isn't Adam's sister. This was real country rock with plenty of style and words along the lines of some woman grabbing a shotgun and blasting her errant husband. Nice. Skylar was clearly in her element with this cheerful wordy stuff and obviously knew the track really well. The enthusiastic audience certainly seemed to appreciate her effort. With little competition in the country stakes, the voters may too. "OTT" said Steven Tyler. He was right, there. Whilst I totally approve of the idea of contestants singing what they really love, from their own idols' repertoires, there is always the risk of their then trying too hard and being over familiar with the track, thus losing some of its finer nuances. Having said that, there were no finer nuances in this one to lose anyway!

Heejun
He says he ahs a new 'game plan'. I'm not sure Stevie actually 'got' Heejun but she was very polite. His track was This Is Your Song. He did a serious version, no messing around, with the husky voice prominent. I don't know what to make of this. To me it was way out opf tune and he also was trying too hard to compete and only emphasising his shortcomings as a result. Who would buy this? For some reason known only to them, the judges give him a standing ovation. seriously? Nice enough voice but very limited range and certianly not marketable. Heejun could be markrtable as an act but not a singing or dancing act.

Hollie
Appearing a nice simple white dress, it was a relief that Tommy or the make-up team hadn't turned this young girl into something completely different. Taking on Carrie Underwood's Jesus Take The Wheel, though, was not a good move. Brave, but not a good idea. I'm a fan of this girl but this didn't do much for me - the production was wrong and tended to overpower her. She sensibly avoided doing the big notes this week and tried to deliver it in her way but would have done better with just a harp or guitar for accompaniment. I felt it was off market too but perhaps that was a clever move to cash in on a few of Skylar's votes with this one. She may need them.

Deandre
Sometimes brought the falsetto back big time but give me the Stylistics any day of the week over this. He puts so much technique into his delivery that the whole song gets spoilt but he did seem to make a good impression on the audience again. Strangely, I can see him selling records in big numbers but not getting the votes rolling in on this type of programme. A standing ovation for him too?! So much not deserved. Nor was Jennifer's call for people to vote for him. That was out of order and, frankly, bonkers.

Jessica
Sweet Dreams was brilliant. Another fabulous performance. Flawless and very, very impressive from start to finish. She clearly has edged ahead of Hollie now and, depending on how the other girls do tonight, may be on the verge of establishing herself as the female in the final. She looked good too, again, not outrageously made up or decorated. A real star. So why no standing ovation for her?! Weird.

Phillip
Look Out My Window was one chunky rock track which he loved doing and, like the others, clearly knew well. This was Phillip at his best and a good night for him - if the voters do actually like this sort of performance. Stevie even says that, had he been around when she and Lindsey Buckingham were playing, he might have had an invitation to join Fleetwood Mac with them! That will have made his evening if nothing else did! I don't know how well he's going to progress in this competition as he is so different and with a particular style of his own that I can't see being readily adapted to what must be coming along in subsequent weeks. For now, though, he's safe enough. He also gets a standing ovation. That's becoming a habit and Jessica must be wondering what they've got against her.

Joshua
Taking on Nilsson's Without You is quite a task. It's one of those tracks that either works or doesn't. (Annoyingly, he refers to Mariah Carey's Without You but never mind). I don't like the way he adds Uh to each s in a line but, allowing for that fault which I'm sure someone will fix before long, this was an excellent performance. He took it to a different place than anyone would have expected and opened the door to a market place for him and, I should think, a clear run through to the next week. Another standing ovation. At this rate Jessica and Hollie must be getting mad.

Hollie, Jessica and Skylar did an interesting sequence of Madonna tracks. There had been a couple of others previously in the show but, to be honest, we could have done without them, only Colton really showing any talent of note. Here, though, we had a fascinating direct comparison of the three girls. Jessica was natural, spot on vocally and comfortable on stage. Hollie was good, a little nervous for a moment but then very much the reliable performer and nice to see her performing well in a faster track which actually suited her too. Skylar was by far the most accomplished performer on the stage but her notes weren't all that they should be. Great personality but, of the three, she'd be the one to go first (if the country vote were not so vast, that is!)

Elise closes the show with Whole Lotta Love. Amazing! That must be one of the best covers of that track I've heard. Perfect in every aspect - delivery, the way she looked, and she totally rocked. You could see that this was something she was familiar with and loved doing. If she is in the bottom three after that then you do have to wonder what on Earth the American voters want from this show. My guess is that Elise may still struggle to be popular with this show's audience but I am confident she may be the first to get a decent contract from someone.

Haley Reinhart Returns as #American Idol Loses Another Girl

The results show is always a combination of the sublime and the ridiculous. Colton looks really strangely out of place doing the Let's All Dance bit with Phillip plain uncomfortable trying to smile and dance at the same time without a guitar. Let's just hope, for the sake of the Top 10 gigs' audiences that someone looks again at this and ensures they don't attempt the awful For The Longest Time again.

If American Idol were a competition for a group of ten boys and girls to do sing-a-long numbers then they'd have given the show over to InTENsity or 1 Direction and 6 random fans.

Anyway, back to the results. First up are Hollie, Skylar and Elise. Each could be vulnerable for different reasons. Elise, arguably, had the greatest performance of these three by a long way last night and, for a moment, with Hollie and Skylar breathing huge sighs of relief, Elise looks like the first in the bottom three. But Ryan's playing games again and she's (deservedly) safe as well! That was a surprise.

Elizabeth Woolridge Grant performs next. You'll know her as Lana Del Rey, a winsome girl who has become a star overnight. Video Games has been played almost non-stop on UK stations so I'd like to have heard something else from the much acclaimed album but this was pretty cool. I can imagine Colton doing that. Hmm - an idea for the final, maybe.

Then we have an embarrassing Happy 64th Birthday for Steven Tyler, with his guitarist buddy Joe Perry doing a few notes and, Lord help us, the boys and girls still standing being obliged to do the dreadful Happy Birthday To You when what they really want to do is get on and find out which three of them are not connecting with voting land.

Deandre, Josh and Jessica are picked out next. Jessica is the obvious safe one and I wonder whether the other two head to the bottom three but Josh must have just escaped this week, leaving Deandre looking worried.

Haley Reinhart returns. Now she is the sublime. Free is her new single from a well-received album. She looks and sounds fabulous but needs better written tracks if she's going to make it here in the UK. Nice to see her again, though, one of the real stars to come out of America Idol.

Erika, Heejun, Phillip and Colton are next in line. Predictably, Colton is safe. Phillip is lucky too, leaving Erika and Heejun to join Deandre as this week's bottom three.

Now Deandre should be the one to go out of these three, second Heejun with Erika by far the superior artist. But that's not the way the voters saw it - well, they had Heejun second but it was Erika who faced having to sing again. You had to feel sorry for her, in the bottom two again, having done exactly what everyone told her and singing brilliantly. She performed well again with I Believe and the crowd was all for the judges saving her. But they didn't. I guess they took the view that, despite all the compliments, all the effort she'd made, despite all that the public still didn't get what she was about. So, frankly, what chance does she have of surviving much longer? Yes, we'd all probably rather listen to Erika than some of the other also-rans who'll be gone soon enough but she'll not have made the final. So, a bit sadly, we say farewell to Erika Van Pelt.

The One Where We Meet At Least One Of Series 11's Top Ten

This is the big round. 15 of the Top 24 are chosen in this first part of two programmes at the Green Mile. The 12 girls and 12 boys who will appear on the Live Shows and forever have the Series 11 tag, however well they do, will be revealed. Compared to earlier years and X Factor's Judges' Houses round, Steven Tyler, Randy Jackson and Jennifer Lopez are handling this really well. Good comments and judgments with, so far, at least, no Louis Walsh oddballs or Paula-Nicole emotional pleading for someone they fancy. The Top 24 is finally chosen and now I can remove the 'spoiler' alerts at last.

Jen Hirsh is first through. Her song was strange for such an important audition. Jazzy but not that impressive. She's quite confident and should be reliable and will perform well and naturally. With the right tracks she might surprise us but she's not an Idol yet.

Creighton Fraker is second through. He's a reasonable sort of guy with a good voice and, again, should be a reliable performer but, unless he has something new to bring to the tv shows, I'm not sure he'll be around that long.

Joshua Ledet is third though and one of the better final auditions. This guy sings well and is just a natural rythm guy who even sings his thanks to the judges when he gets the news. There's some tinniness in his voice at the top end but plnety of nice tone and he can add shade rather than simply belting it out like many others. A good choice. Now will the public take to him?

Haley Johnson is a very photogenic cover girl for the show that we've only started to see more of. A nice girl, confident attitude and, yes, a great voice. We'll see plenty more of her all right. The camera just loves her.

Elise Testone seems older than the other girls and gives us an earthy, bluesy, very professional performance. Mature but looking very good, she'll be a great contribution to the show and is one who should add some colour and, hopefully, some rock and roll excitement in amongst the more predictable stuff from some others.

Reed Grimm has an amazing 'quirky charm'. I'm quoting Ryan seacrest there as I couldn't put it any better myself. He is one of the few who have a back story that backs the idea of him being a star rather than some sad story or irrelevant something or other. It seems that he was brought up by a family who all sang and danced and you get the feeling he's never done anything else! I like this cheery and cheeky chracter and he'll be great fun to have around over forthcoming weeks. I have a feeling voters will love him as long as he doesn't take tracks he's given completely off the wall (or rails!). An excellent choice.

Erica Van Pelt has been a mobile DJ which you'd never have guessed from her quite traditional and almost 'normal American slightly older girl' appearance. She looks like she should be doing washing powder ads. She ventures into Elise's territory with a low voice and I have no idea what her final audition song was. I get the feeling she just edged into the final 24. The judges may have taken a chance and, whilst she'll be reliable and not one to worry about putting on the stage, much will depend on the tracks she gets and she may be one of the early departures.

Chelsea Sorrell is a good-looking country girl we haven't seen much of so far. Nice girl who I can see appealing to an audience and who may be able to break out of the pure country field into something wider. She'll have tough competition, though.

Baylie Brown will be one of those competitors, possibly even more good-looking but maybe a little weaker on stage when performing. So they're equally balanced but my feeling is they're both vulnerable to someone we've yet to see get through. More about that next time.

Heejun Han, of course, has to be through. we've already realised that this guy has that certain something that appeals to viewers. His battle with Richie Law (who we saw eliminated just previously) got us all on his side and the arm-wobbling seems under control now and the hoodies should be consigned to the bin. We don't hear much of his final audition but enough to know that he's not at all bad. His singing is a bit boring but he's going to be a big draw for the show and is one nice guy that we'll enjoy watching (if not listening to) for a while.

Colton Dixon didn't even intend at the outset to audition but was persuaded to join his sister when she started. She got eliminated in the Hollywood second cull and we now get a very clever and passionate Fix You by Colton as his final audition. That was possibly just what he needed to impress the judges. He could be popular on the Live Shows. A little uncertain as to what he'll do and where he'll take songs but a good choice.

Jessica Sanchez is a young one, just 16, but you'd never know as she is one big singer and has guts and style and very good indeed. I'd like to see her doing more modern stuff but that was still one stand-out audition. She's emotional and maybe a bit of a risk but if she can hold it together she is going far.

Phillip Phillips is through too. We don't hear a great deal of him but, with guitar on the stage, he has a raw, unusual way to deliver tracks and it'll be interesting to see how he shapes up against his obvious rival, Creighton and the extent to which he is overwhelmed by the force of Reed's personality. A very likable chap but not sure how long he'll last.

Brielle Von Hughes is the last confirmed Top 24 choice in the first part of the programme. She's another young girl with bags and bags of natural talent. This one also has determination and just goes for it each time. So very much will depend for her, though, on how they dress and make her up, the songs they give her and how she distances herself from the other girls in this tough field. One year she might have been the one and only young great singer and performer with an earthy, natural talent. This year she has competition. It'll be interesting, or a disaster.

The first part ends with David Brock saying how he must sing. He has a big voice but shows in his final audition an nice touch. His Georgia alst week was impressive and propelled him this far. This audition was messy in places and I don't think he's Idol material. The judges have their doubts too but he'll be through.

That's fifteen. Nine to go.

The One Where Jen Gets Bingo, Only Skylar Does Country and Reed Plays The Drums

Finally we get to see and hear what some of the better contestants can do. I counted group or single performances by 15 of those who make the final 24 which still leaves 9 of whom we only get the briefest glimpse (and I'm not sure we even got that for two). Part 3 carries on from the previous night when they were all trying to make groups, some successfully and some not.

Things start reasonably enough with Jennifer and Carrie from the first five girls getting through and then all five of Aaron, Creighton, Jen Hirsh, Reed and Nick getting through easily. Brielle, Joshua and Shannon get through in the next but the annoying All American Beefcake Kyle doesn't which, judging by his attitude to the others, would have been a popular decision.

Mathenet survives in the fourth group where Amy Brumfield's efforts to get over illness don't and so it's back to her tent again.

Then we get three girls who forget their words who don't proceed further and get told of a bundle more who didn't and do get through but with no idea who they are! In the next group we get to see it's Alicia (I'm a cop, d'ya like cops?) who has stayed up almost all night and tries hard but it doesn't work. A chap called Christian who we haven't seen before comes across well but fails to impress the judges. These are tough times. As we head for the break cue a door closing and, yet again, Alicia gets a bundle of publicity. I should ahve mentioned that, on being rejected, she did a quick ad for herself as a personal security guard and that will have helped her career, I'm sure. Just not her music career.

Eben, Ariel, Gabi, David Leathers (the young ones) and an older guy called Jeremy are all through in one of the better and well-organised groups. In complete contrast we then get a poor young girl called Imani who faints and appears to have lost hope of joining her group who redo their act to take account of that. Just before they go on she returns and wants to perform so it's almost understandable that they make a mess of it with only Johnny Keyser, one of the real experienced professionals in the field, virtually single-handedly holding the whole thing together. He deserves to get through and Imani faints again at the end of their performance. That gave the judges a tough decision to make as she wasn't at all bad and, in the circumstances you might have expected them to give her one more chance. However all credit to them, they made the point that it only gets tougher from here on and she was out.

There are several more indicated as going through that we don't see and then we get the final group, the extraordinarily pompous Richie Law trying to tell Heejun, Jairon and Phillip Phillips what to do. Heejun seems to have really appealed to Jennifer with his husky voice but the sound of anything beginning with b a or p in the lyrics from the Korean was clearly not as annoying to her on the stage set as it sounded on my tv set. Jairon did very well and Phillip was excellent, these three showing up the Cowboy who was not at all good after all the hype! For all that they all get through and we get some odd scene of Heejun, with tongue so much in cheek they both seemed to bulge (or maybe that's just the way he looks anyway) offering an apology for remarks he'd made about the Cowboy the night before. Hilarious.

We hear that Erica, Adam, Hallie and Elise also get through but with little clue as to who they are and that ends that day.

At last, in the second section of this show, we see several performing with an 'Idol band'. We meet Joshua who is good, very good and, for the first time, Colton Dixon who returns after failing to make it last year. Colton has nice shades, a natural talent. Phillip Phillips has an earthy voice that sounds way older than he looks. He has a unique and natural talent too and provides an interpretation of the tracks that is his and his alone.

Jen Hirsh is very professional and we see her in her element at last - excellent, quite different to many of her competitors and delivering Georgia On My Mind in style. She can do gentle and heavy, mixing seamlessly and effectively the two. Steven says "Bingo!"

Creighton Fraker shows us he's good but a bit off-tune for my ears. a clear talent, though, and apart from trying too hard and screeching a bit, that was not a bad version of What A Wonderful World.

Reed Grimm seems to have lost his nerve after being so confident in the past and we're led to believe that he had intended to sing on his own but was instructed that it had to be with the band. This bothers him and we get several minutes of him with a vocal coach just a few minutes before he's due to perform and, oddly, he calls his mum who sounded to me as though she would have simply told him to get on with it and stop being so stupid had someone not told her she'd be broadcast to several million. After all that show, Reed was brilliant, playing the drums in the band by way of compromise with the musical director and giving us an absolutely spot-on performance of Georgia and making us wonder just whether all the preceding stuff was one good act. Compare that to the fainting girl and you can see who gets through and why.

Shannon MacGraine follows. She's been great in the past but didn't sound so good this time and was heading for a disappointing performance but eventually, when she stopped trying so hard, she was considerably better and finished in excellent style and impressed the judges.

Skylar Laine had suffered from exhaustion the evening before and been taken to hospital but still insisted on getting her act together and appearing on stage. She was the first country girl we've heard and did a great job. a really great job. I was full of admiration for her, not just in getting up and performing but in doing so as if nothing had happened. Steven, unusually, says how good she is, too, at the end. Apart from a Bingo remark for Jen Hirsh earlier, no judges really gave such obvious preferences.

Rachelle breaks the run of star performances by messing up the words. She gets over that and has a nice voice and attitude but couldn't avoid her nerves flowing through her performance and was disappointing.

At the end we hear Adam Brock, a good singer with a big voice but weak at the top end when he sounds very tinny. His low roar, however, is quite appealing and that's what the judges seem to like. He doesn't look like Idol material, though, but has a mature attitude and will be around for a while yet.

The show closes with the division of the remaining people into four rooms. Three roomfuls get through and one doesn't. We say farewell to Britany Kerr and Rachelle as well as one or two others that previous shows had featured as interesting but I didn't spot any particular favourites in that room. The big and most painful cuts will be next as, presumably, they're whittled down to those that will be appearing on our screens and appealing for our votes, not just those of the judges in Las Vegas.

The One Where Heejun Gets Told To Shake It Out again

"At this moment in time, there's an awful lot you haven't seen yet. A great many you haven't seen yet." said Nigel Lythgoe earlier this week. So, with over 300 still hopeful entering Hollywood week, those that we are shown can be expected to be a bit of a hint as to who to look out for in future - with a few disasters thrown in for good measure. (Blink and you'll miss 13 of the Top 24!)

It's never easy writing about this part of the series as all we get is a line or two from selected auditions and a very few very brief comments from the judges as they whittle the 300 down by about 50%. We really don't get much to comment on ourselves so the best I can do is give you my own take on what we saw in the first hour.

Johnny Keyser is one of those confident guys that are difficult to reject but seem a bit bland. Good-looking bloke and he sounds great and gets through easily enough but you're left wondering whether he's really Live Show material for all that.

Heejun next. "Shake it out," the judges say as the Korean stands looking distinctly odd and wobbles his arms around like a duck that thinks it's a penguin. You get the feeling that it's the distinctly odd bit that will mean we see him around for quite a while. He sings OK and has some nice tones in there somewhere but his pronunciation of words jars, especially those beginning with a P and he'd better not choose Papa Don't Preach for a future audition. Is he an American Idol? No. Icon for people to wish well in the Live Shows? Probably.

We hear that someone called Gabi gets through too but we're none the wiser as to why or how.

Elise Testone has an energetic and earthy attitude and is sufficiently different to all the Steven Jones hareem that will be advancing soon enough. You wonder whether she should be called Elise Testoserone as she certainly seems to have plenty of balls and it'll be interesting to see how the make-over people present her for the Live Shows which I'm sure she'll reach.

Baylie Brown has everything the show needs: she's gentle, country but not just country, pretty and experienced, just doing her thing and doing it well - the kind of girl the producers can rely on both to perform and attract viewers.

Hallie Day has the added benefit of a back story that no doubt we'll be regularly reminded of. She's a natural and performed well, looking lovely and, in the brief glimpse we get, packing in enough emotion to show that she means what she sings and she will do well.

A pile of others appear to get through but we get no names or anything. So far there are no new names getting through, though.

Jen Hirsh is beautiful and another experienced, reliable performer that should be in the Live Shows. A little more mature than some of the others, she is already in the business and has an album out so is familiar with the environment she's in and you get the feeling that this audition was a breeze for her with no sign of the nerves many of the others show. She wasn't as tuneful, though, as I might have expected so, whilst she'll get through, much will depend on what she gets to sing as to whether she can really compete with her young rivals.

Lauren Gray gives the audition all she's got and is really trying too hard to impress. She's quite impressive but inclined to shout a bit.

Phillip Phillips reminds us that there are some males in the competition. You'd think he'd be a good ol' country boy but he has a jazz feel with lots of individual style and puts his own interpretation on what he does. He's though safely.

Reed Grimm is naturally confident too and has an exhuberance that people will like for a while, as long as he doesn't overdo it. He sang about a Golden Ticket which was pretty weird, with a scat style and, like the previous guy, is original and can certainly sing and perform. Lots of experience too.

Travis looks like he's going home with a hang-dog expression even before he starts. He hit the right notes and seemed reasonable enough but, despite all the sympathy for his back story, he's neither one thing nor another. He doesn't get through and we get the sad tv bit. You do tend to feel sorry for the chap.

Adam Brook makes it four guys in a row. He's a bit heavy on the ears - so far there hasn't been any normal male singer that you can really say is modern and a potential winner and this guy, whilst OK and through, isn't an Idol either.

Jane Carrey gets included because her dad's famous. She gives us a nice version of a CCR number but it isn't exactly brilliant and that's the end of her road.

David Leathers is more like what I expect to see in Idol-land 2012. He's cheeky and comes across well. Nice range and does a good job. He's young, though, and how long will the chat up lines keep him going?

Shannon MacGraine gives one of the best auditions of the night and has to be a certainty for future rounds if she can maintain that standard. There could be some fascinating battles to come if she's up against the other talented and pretty girls already through and those yet to come.

Jessica Phillips has a nice voice but some notes were way off. The footage of her back story was unnecessary and I'm not sure we'll see that much more of her anyway.

We don't get to see Angie Z or the impossibly good-looking Britanny Kerr (a case of That's enough pretty girls, Ed.) but they're through.

We do see Erica Van Pelt who is another strong contender that will make the voters' choices difficult if she carries on performing as well as this.

Creighton Fraker is yet another slightly off-beat guy who is doing well in this series. He made a good job of this audition and joins several others who will also make choosing tricky later on.

Aaron Marcellus is the music teacher. He over-sung his number, trying to impress too much but he did hit all the right notes and sails through, one of the few vaguely normal likely male Live Show possibilities.

Lauren Minck does a nice performance of Heart's Alone. Not an easy song but she gets it dead right. Nice performance.

Jeremy Rosado has a cool personality, the sort of likeable guy you can see making the Live Shows but going out pretty smartly afterwards. He's no Idol and his vocals are very strained at the top end but there is a nice tone in there if he can stay in the best range. He'll survive for a while yet.

Symone Black is the last act we see in Part 1 and she has a nice tone, sings well and presents Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay well. Unfortunately, she seems to faint and falls off the stage at the end and we get the dramatic medic call as the credits run. I'm not so sure that was the most sensitive way to end this section - you sort of felt putting this on last as some sort of cliff-hanger was wrong. "Tune in tomorrow to see if Symone survives". No, this is American Idol, not some soap opera. Obviously, she recovers or they'd never have dared end that way.

It's the really annoying group round next. I'm dreading having to try and stay calm and avoid rude language when I write about that round when we learn precious little about the contestants, get scene after scene of people wandering around, arguing, panicking and generally either being really lucky to get in with some good guys or left to put something together with a bunch of others. Still, Scotty couldn't find a group last year and that didn't do him much harm. I just think it's all a bit pointless viewing.

Let's hope I'm wrong!

Louie, Louie, Baby Now, We've Gotta Go

The last of the initial audition screenings starts with a 2004 shot of a girl on a tractor. Carrie Underwood before, with more than a little help from Simon Cowell, becoming American Idol's biggest success by far. She auditioned at St Louis. That's where we see the last of the oddballs and the few real contenders we're allowed to preview before Hollywood.

Great to hear Louie Louie although only the chorus. I mean, this is American TV and those lyrics are probably still banned. Some weird guy in a car (ostensibly Ryan's cab driver but I don't buy that) is moaning about the crowds and jams that the huge turnout in the town create. Not quite sure why this is thrown in. I reckon there's a new producer who likes this sort of wacky stuff.

Johnnie Keyser is a good-looking guy to start. Jennifer gets seriously carried away and you have to wonder what Coca Cola had put in the red plastic cups this week. Randy and Steven seem to have been infected too. The guy sings A Change Is Gonna Come pretty well but is he really potential live show talent? Only on looks.

Another producer special as we get a bonkers black and white interlude. Are they short of decent audition tapes or something? Surely there were some entertaining or interesting candidates for these several minutes' worth of prime time TV? If I were an advertiser, I'd be asking for rate reduction.

Almost 20 minutes in - that's over 33% of the programme gone already and we've seen one act. Finally we see Rachelle Lamb. Says she's divorced and her ex held her back. Haven't we heard that before somewhere? She does a Faith Heeeeel song Find Someone New. That was nothing amazing. She'd have to do a great deal more to move on from Hollywood where, yes, you guessed, our Cola-injected judges duly sent her.

Old bloke in a car again. Some idot who says music is his wife. Several people on the stage at once. None any good. Stupid girl in a pink hat. Odd boy. Really ugly bloke. This is rubbish.

Cue decent audition after a break. Rees has a back story - he must be reasonable, at least, to get that on air. He does Lean On Me. OK. That's all. Again, the judges go 'Definitely yes!' and all that. I must be missing something. Or maybe I should try some Coke.

As if this show hasn't been amateur enough, the Mentos intros and outros for this series are dreadful. I do hope you guys across the pond have something better, especially as you get far more interruptions than we do.

Ethan Jones is up next. Another back story. Is anyone normal in St Louis? This is the first good singer for a long time. He's got a good chance of going further. Interesting.

Odd spot time again. This time it's a guy who works in the auditions hotel. He totally wrecks some Stevie Wonder track I couldn't even recognise. Presumably someone will suggest he keeps his day job. Maybe all his friends on the staff put him up for this just so that he'd be able to see hinself later and consequently shut up for good.

So, as the minutes tick by, have they kept the best bits til the end as they are prone to do? Someone they want us to remember? Maybe someone we can get enthusiastic about and worth putting through to Hollywood and maybe lock us in for some future stages?

Lauren Gray is that hope in the producers' minds. She was in a Southern Rock band with her father and does a good job of an Adele number. Her voice isn't that great though and, after a while, starts to get boring. She's certainly talented and worth putting through to Hollywood but after that - not so sure. She does seem to have captured the judges' votes, though, somehow. jennifer seems to have forgotten how passionate she'd been earlier about the good-looking guy and now says she can sum up the talent in St Louis in two words. Lauren. Gray.

That's it. there's a long, long re-run of all those we've seen but none of the hundreds that got through but we haven't seen. we're told 46 get through at St Louis. That's 42 we didn't see so, to be honest, you begin to wonder what is the point of trying to review any of these early stages?

Next is Hollywood. I don't usually like to give anything away but I am seriously tempted to tell you that none of the bunch we actually heard tonight get very far. If the producers can promise me that there'll be no more old blokes in cars or dodgy Cola quotes then I may just hold back from announcing the names of those who do make it through to the live shows several stages down the line.